The Chicago Bar Foundation called me a couple of weeks ago to tell me they were going to give me this big award. They said I had two minutes for my acceptance speech, and that two minutes was one page of double-spaced 12 point type. I got the impression they were serious. When I got to the event they added that my speech was last because it was supposed to be the big inspirational close for the 700 lawyers in the room. Too bad. I can be short, or I can be inspirational, but don't expect me to be both. Fortunately they'd already given me the very generous check that came with the award. It came with the condition that I had to spend it on something I wouldn't otherwise have been able to afford on a legal services salary. Presumably they'd never know if I disobeyed the condition, but you know me, I do what I'm told. I think we're going to New Zealand.
